So i’ve become resigned to the fact that I’m not going to write on here quite as often as i’d like or as often as i probably should. However, it kinda makes sense that I only write every so often, because unlike my idol [the mighty Kevin Smith,] i really don’t have an awful lot going on in my life, so dont always have things to write about.
Before I go on, i feel i need to mention my sadness at the passing of George Carlin last week. I’m sure that some people who read this won’t know who I’m talking about, but if you ask me, that is their loss. My loss is that i will never seen George Carling in anything again [excluding previous recordings obviously.] For those who don’t know, George Carlin was an american stand up, also known for his film roles, most notably ‘Rufus’ in the Bill and Ted films. You will be missed Mr Carlin, by many, many people.
R.I.P George Carlin 1937 – 2008
Anywho, I suppose I had better write something of worth right? And before anyone asks, if anyone even reads this anymore that it, the title of this particular bloggisode is the title of the song I was listening to when I started writing…["Don't Drink The Water" by Stone Gods!]
I’ve been doing a lot of thinking about beauty and what not lately. It all started with a drinking game at download ["I have never..." i'm sure you've all played it before.] After a while, the game changed, and we were basically going round the group and pointing out each others best quality and worst quality. I got two rather strange reactions to my worst quality, one being from lightie which was “your always right.” Not i think im always right might i add, but that i am always right haha. I guess i just know how to sort his life out better than my own lol. But the biggest suprise was that most people hate the fact that I have a low opinion of my self…
Now, don’t get me wrong, I don’t think i’m ugly or anything, I’d say i’m average, but the problem seems to be my weight. Now, i’m a realist, I’m fat and I know I’m fat. There’s no problem there. The thing that annoys people though, is the fact that I’m quick to put myself down…what can i say, after years of name calling at school, it just sorta becomes a habbit to get there before someone else can. It doesn’t help that I’m not the most sociable person on this planet when I don’t know people…
Thinking back to my lost post, when i was talking about how i sometimes feel i’m a backup in terms of relationships, I can’t help but paraphrase Kevin Smith here…The girls who wouldn’t look twice at me in school will sooner or later realise that the so called pretty boys aren’t worth it and they’ll be looking for a guy like me because they know i’ll treat them better and work twice as hard. I know that sooner or later, i’ll find that someone who’ll see me for who i actually am. But the questions was, do i consider myself good looking?
Last week, while shaving, i was looking into the mirror at my reflection [as you do with shaving, unless you want to lose a feature or two...] and i began to ask my self if i was good looking. It’s a tough question because nobody wants to seem arragont and love themselves, but i felt that i needed to come to terms with who i am more so than i already was. I guess i still dont know the answer to the question yet, but i’m getting there, and it’s a step in the right direction right?
Other than that, i’ve got some crazy stuff going on in my head right now, but I can’t really talk about any of it because its just far too sensitive a subject, so i guess i’ll have to come to a conclusion on that one on my own. Anywho, i’m babbling on now, so i’m gonna get going.
Remember, be excellent to each other
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